24/05/2019
Meltdown
liquefied-
the drip drip drip
of strong and stable
glugging down the drain
un-galvanized
sans mettle
© Bex Tate
What went wrong at British Steel?
21/05/2019
Left Luggage
17/05/2019
The Hamburg taxi driver
thought that it was strange
when the passengers paid
then said, keep the change
for they hadn't left any tip
but a baby having a kip.
thought that it was strange
when the passengers paid
then said, keep the change
for they hadn't left any tip
but a baby having a kip.
© Luigi Pagano
17/05/2019
June, July and...Augusta
16/05/2019
May ends in June
the papers say
and she knows why.
What no one knows
is, come July
who'll steer the rudder.
Mention of Boris
makes people shudder.
Some who believe
we need new blood
may be inclined
to choose Amber Rudd.
the papers say
and she knows why.
What no one knows
is, come July
who'll steer the rudder.
Mention of Boris
makes people shudder.
Some who believe
we need new blood
may be inclined
to choose Amber Rudd.
© Luigi Pagano
16/05/2019
Off the rails
16/05/2019
The minister Chris Grayling
who's found that transport
is not altogether plain sailing
was the one who introduced
the probation service reforms
but as privatisation is failing
there is a big mess to sort.
who's found that transport
is not altogether plain sailing
was the one who introduced
the probation service reforms
but as privatisation is failing
there is a big mess to sort.
© Luigi Pagano
16/05/2019
Look On the Not So Bright Side
14/05/2019
For every poetry website closing
The branch of a bank opens.
IMPORTANT MESSAGE on Poetry24
George Salamon was happy to have been a contributor to Poetry24..
© George Salamon
(For link, see Important Message in sidebar)
14/05/2019
Death of a legend
12/05/2019
We say farewell to Doris;
she played Calamity Jane
but she wasn't as calamitous
as some of our politicians
like Jeremy, Theresa or Boris
who are giving us pain.
she played Calamity Jane
but she wasn't as calamitous
as some of our politicians
like Jeremy, Theresa or Boris
who are giving us pain.
© Luigi Pagano
12/05/2019
Mother's Day Poem Written While Sitting In A Bar In Madrid
This is how Mother's Day was born
07/05/2019
Happy Mother's Day,
to the mother of my children,
I am so very grateful.
to the mother of my children,
I am so very grateful.
Happy Mother's Day
to my mother, to the mother
of all that is just and good.
to my mother, to the mother
of all that is just and good.
Happy Mother's Day,
to Mother Earth:
to Mother Earth:
The earth explodes today
in its exuberance and gratitude.
in its exuberance and gratitude.
© Gil Hoy
07/05/2019
The big break
07/05/2019
People may think
that I blaspheme
and be after my blood
when I declare
that Trump is supreme
but I don't mean Donald
but a snooker player
called Judd.
that I blaspheme
and be after my blood
when I declare
that Trump is supreme
but I don't mean Donald
but a snooker player
called Judd.
© Luigi Pagano
07/05/2019
Maybe...
03/05/2019
Maybe someone listened
when we shouted out in rage,
maybe someone understood
the words upon the page.
Maybe someone listened
when the world found its voice,
maybe now their leaders know
their people have a choice.
Maybe fear and loathing
will no longer rule the day…
maybe now their citizens
will be proud to say they’re gay.
Maybe...
© Andrew Goodison
Sultan of Brunei drops death penalty for gay sex after backlash led by George Clooney and Elton John
03/05/2019
No Caveats
Corbyn praised a book
and didn't read some parts
or didn’t give a fuck.
© Tristan Moss
02/05/2019
Uh? No way!
30/04/2019
The future of the MP
Gavin Williamson
looks bleak.
He was sacked
because of a leak,
an accusation he denies
when he cries,
as Kenneth Williams did,
Infamy, infamy!
They've all got it in for me.
Gavin Williamson
looks bleak.
He was sacked
because of a leak,
an accusation he denies
when he cries,
as Kenneth Williams did,
Infamy, infamy!
They've all got it in for me.
© Luigi Pagano
30/04/2019
A Six-line History of American Politics: 1968-2020
We voted for people we hardly knew,
People who made decisions about
Matters they could not understand,
Decisions benefitting very few of us.
We called it democracy, we still do,
And we're about to do it again.
© George Salamon
26/04/2019
Here Comes, There Goes Joe Biden
25/04/2019
Superman fell to Kryptonite's
New, improved formula.
Batman's fingers turned stiff
After years of dread arthritis.
Wonder Woman retired to
Doing reruns on the television.
Now it's up to old Joe Biden
To "battle for the soul of America,"
To return it to its original flavor.
We were well advised by sly
Old Bertolt Brecht, telling us
"Pity the country that needs heroes."
© George Salamon
25/04/2019
Embargoes on Cargoes
24/04/2019
Vladimir travelled
to Vladivostok
and Kim Jong
went along
hoping to unblock
or at least ease
the Russian embargo.
to Vladivostok
and Kim Jong
went along
hoping to unblock
or at least ease
the Russian embargo.
© Luigi Pagano 2019
24/04/2019
If the media was an online store
Sri Lankans Slam Indian Media for ‘Politicising’ Easter Blasts
23/04/2019
its home page would look like this
CUSTOMER: our attention
OUT OF STOCK: the truth
BESTSELLER: fear
© Gargi Pandkar
Gargi is a student-in-transit who dabbles in poetry on her blog when she is not eating books for breakfast
23/04/2019
Swing low
22/04/2019
The opinion pollsters
are sure of one thing:
that among voters
there is a swing
to Labour from Tories.
And that is the truth,
not fictional stories.
It is estimated
that the Reds would beat
the bungling Blues
by at least sixty seats.
With such a victory
what would happen then
is that Jeremy Corbyn
would be in number 10.
are sure of one thing:
that among voters
there is a swing
to Labour from Tories.
And that is the truth,
not fictional stories.
It is estimated
that the Reds would beat
the bungling Blues
by at least sixty seats.
With such a victory
what would happen then
is that Jeremy Corbyn
would be in number 10.
© Luigi Pagano
22/04/2019
Haiku
Doctors discover four live bees feeding on tears inside woman's eye
21/04/2019
Faced with extinction
tiny bees drink salty tears
to drown their sorrows
© Bex Tate
21/04/2019
We are the champions
21/04/2019
Migrant Mapping
Great-grandmother1 left Ireland for Wales
Great-grandfather1 left Ireland for Wales
Great-grandmother 2 left Wales for America
Great-grandfather 2 left Wales for America
Grandmother1 left Ireland for Wales
Grandfather1 left America for Wales
Uncle1 left Wales for South Africa
Sister1 left the UK for France
Cousin 1 left the UK for Australia
Nephew 1 left the UK for France
Nephew 2 left the UK for America
Nephew 3 left the UK for America
Nephew 2's wife left Israel for America
Nephew 3's wife left Cuba for America
© S. O. Fasrus
UK-born baby of parents with right to remain given six-month tourist stamp
21/04/2019
We often hear that Britain is the best,
our football league harder than the rest,
that with every invention we were first,
that it was here democracy was nursed
but in the art of comedy we truly excel
and in Westminster our comedians dwell.
They are not in the league of Mark Twain
but their fame spread as far as Ukraine.
our football league harder than the rest,
that with every invention we were first,
that it was here democracy was nursed
but in the art of comedy we truly excel
and in Westminster our comedians dwell.
They are not in the league of Mark Twain
but their fame spread as far as Ukraine.
© Luigi Pagano
21/04/2019
Migrant Mapping
Great-grandmother1 left Ireland for Wales
Great-grandfather1 left Ireland for Wales
Great-grandmother 2 left Wales for America
Great-grandfather 2 left Wales for America
Grandmother1 left Ireland for Wales
Grandfather1 left America for Wales
Uncle1 left Wales for South Africa
Sister1 left the UK for France
Cousin 1 left the UK for Australia
Nephew 1 left the UK for France
Nephew 2 left the UK for America
Nephew 3 left the UK for America
Nephew 2's wife left Israel for America
Nephew 3's wife left Cuba for America
© S. O. Fasrus
UK-born baby of parents with right to remain given six-month tourist stamp
21/04/2019
What College Does To You
21/04/2019
Who's in and who's not
In the meritocracy or elite
Is easy to tell.
There are tests for the former.
Assets of the latter by
Which to measure.
But who belongs to the
Common people, that's
Harder to tell.
You are where you went.
© George Salamon
21/04/2019
Graffiti
It’s what made a derelict stone wall
beside the A487 a history lesson
in red and white. Two words scrawled
as elegy and warning: Cofiwch Dryweryn.
Deface it with your paint, your hammers.
attempt to erase from sons and daughters
our history. And we gather:
a storm to unmuddy your waters.
© Brett Evans
Cofiwch Dryweryn memorial attack treated as hate crime
11/04/2019
The long view
10/04/2019
It took 8 telescopes
to see the black hole
in the firmament.
Why?
The black hole
in the U.K. Parliament
could be seen
with the naked eye.
to see the black hole
in the firmament.
Why?
The black hole
in the U.K. Parliament
could be seen
with the naked eye.
© Luigi Pagano
10/04/2019
A sitting duck
10/04/2019
The P.C, brigade
think they've won
but without
an ugly duckling
they won't have
a beautiful swan.
think they've won
but without
an ugly duckling
they won't have
a beautiful swan.
© Luigi Pagano
10/04/2019
Pete's Proclamation for Pence
09/04/2019
If he could
have cut a
Piece out
Carved it out
No hesitation
If he could have
But love
Is a salve
(ation)
Your quarrel, sir,
Is with
Our
Creator.
© James Schwartz
09/04/2019
Wetherspoons
05/04/2019
The two women speaking Polish
Brexit has left UK ‘in the grip of CIVIL WAR’, warns Wetherspoons founder Tim Martin
in this Leave-stronghold pub
are beautiful and stylish,
their laughter natural and good
to hear. I raise my glass.
What finer, what more radical act
than not speak English in a ‘Spoons
and be stylish and beautiful and laugh?
© Neil Fulwood
05/04/2019
From here to eternity
31/03/2019
I cannot bear the tension;
I heard that Theresa May
might be offered by the EU
a so called 'flextension'
to the Article 50 timetable
so that the UK will be able
to avoid falling off
the white cliffs of Dover.
But will it ever end?
Yes, when hell freezes over,
dear friends.
I heard that Theresa May
might be offered by the EU
a so called 'flextension'
to the Article 50 timetable
so that the UK will be able
to avoid falling off
the white cliffs of Dover.
But will it ever end?
Yes, when hell freezes over,
dear friends.
© Luigi Pagano
31/03/2019
Unencumbered
30/03/2019
Sky Blue
ip dip
sky blue
who's rich
not you
ip dip
who'll play
you're poor
no way
ip dip
that's rich
poor kid
tough shit
© S. O. Fasrus
More segregated playgrounds revealed: 'We just play in the carpark'
30/03/2019
We don't have to choose between eating
living and growing unencumbered
between non-Hodgkins lymphoma and chemicals
killers are well known we thought
some chemicals are okay
helping food plants grow unencumbered by weeds
we see they nurture cancer
now Monsanto has to pay $80 million
not warn us
they did create glyphosate herbicides
unencumbered by truth and concern for public safety
© Kimberly Burnham
30/03/2019
Sky Blue
ip dip
sky blue
who's rich
not you
ip dip
who'll play
you're poor
no way
ip dip
that's rich
poor kid
tough shit
© S. O. Fasrus
More segregated playgrounds revealed: 'We just play in the carpark'
30/03/2019
Stamp of (dis)approval
England’s oldest man tells the Queen not to send a card as he turns 111
29/03/2019
He said it seriously
and not with levity
he doesn't want
a card from Her Majesty.
He must be applauded
as he sees with clarity
that we are all burdened
with austerity.
and not with levity
he doesn't want
a card from Her Majesty.
He must be applauded
as he sees with clarity
that we are all burdened
with austerity.
© Luigi Pagano
29/03/2019
Not Brexit Day
27/03/2019
This was the day we were supposed to leave.
Like a toad who has had enough of the sun,
hopping off to the humid shade of a rock.
Instead the toad’s stuck in blazing heat,
letting the people who take control
kill it off with indecision.
Dehydrating on tarmac,
squashed by the passage of time.
Innards splayed in patterns of grit,
because no one could make a decision.
© Emma Woodford
27/03/2019
Sizing
The fashion wardrobe at NASAAren't doing too well-
The shoes clumpy,
The main body
Rather lumpy too.
The headwear does nothing
If you want it to be flattering,
And medium (female size) costumes
Are not available for two.
© Amanda Derry
The (alternative) people's vote
23/03/2019
The Israelis are bold:
they want to hold
a referendum
to decide whether
to join the EU
as the British
in a flap
have left a gap.
they want to hold
a referendum
to decide whether
to join the EU
as the British
in a flap
have left a gap.
© Luigi Pagano 2019
23/03/2019
This One’s A Bit Edgy
We have farmers to thank for our overbite,
the change in our jaw alignment.
If it wasn’t for farmers we wouldn’t say ‘farmers’
or fuck—all those labiodental consonants.
The loss of our edge-to-edge bite gave the us the edge
to get edgy with words, like fuck, and fornicate, and vagina.
Blame farmers for soft food diets, fundamentally fucking with biology,
a cultural shift, that shifted our jaws, that led to a cultural shift,
the diversification of language.
So thank you farmers for giving a fuck.
We’ve been fucking ever since.
© Janey Colbourne
Ancient switch to soft food gave us an overbite—and the ability to pronounce ‘f’s and ‘v’s
21/03/2019
I just call to say...
(with apologies to Lionel Richie)
Hello plods everywhere,
is it me you are looking for?
I have just got to let you know
that when driving I text.
I can see that you don't smile
and you seem quite perplexed
that I should use my mobile
irresponsibly, as before.
is it me you are looking for?
I have just got to let you know
that when driving I text.
I can see that you don't smile
and you seem quite perplexed
that I should use my mobile
irresponsibly, as before.
© Luigi Pagano
21/03/2019
Copper Breaking Bad
There was a young WPC from Caerphilly
Who liked to swear, fart and be silly.
She loved to break wind.
Her sergeant got her binned.
And now the station smells fresh as a daisy.
© Phil Knight
20/03/2019
What!
Brexit: EU says short delay is possible if MPs back deal
20/03/2019
the sad life of dogs
waiting to be fed
to be walked
to be stroked
waiting for Crufts to come on
© S.O. Fasrus
CRUFTS 2019: DOG OWNERS SHOW THEIR PETS WATCHING THE COMPETITION
20/03/2019
What about Brexit
Mays gone and wrecked it
Left us without a solution
to end the confusion
left us high and dry
With the remnant of Boris's lie
Lets not sink to a begging letter
we all know Britain can do better
We voted to leave, so lets go
Time to drop the final blow
Leave and not pay a penny
Signed----NOT from the few but the MANY.
© Debbie Smith
20/03/2019
the sad life of dogs
waiting to be fed
to be walked
to be stroked
waiting for Crufts to come on
© S.O. Fasrus
CRUFTS 2019: DOG OWNERS SHOW THEIR PETS WATCHING THE COMPETITION
20/03/2019
An insignificant man
New Zealand holds first funerals for victims of Christchurch massacre
19/03/2019
Flying from the
bombs and bullets
that destroyed
their home,
they made
their home
in New Zealand.
One year later,
they are buried,
forever now
in New Zealand.
Not the victims
of racism,
or intolerance,
or Islamaphobia,
but the victims
of a small,
insignificant
man.
© Andrew Goodison
19/03/2019
The Firm
Harry and Meghan want independence-
Will there be cries of "Mrs Simpson"!
Outsiders have always been viewed with suspicion;
Not ingratiated into duty, service, restriction-
This is the Firm, after all.
© Amanda Derry
19/03/2019
Order....order
16/03/2019
The speaker was plucky
when he told the House
that Theresa was lucky
he spared her blushes
by stopping with zeal
a new vote taking place
on her notorious deal.
when he told the House
that Theresa was lucky
he spared her blushes
by stopping with zeal
a new vote taking place
on her notorious deal.
© Luigi Pagano
16/03/2019
GPT-2
Some pretty impressive machine-learning generated poetry courtesy of GPT-2
15/03/2019
Use this application
if you want to save time
and also come up
with a perfect rhyme.
if you want to save time
and also come up
with a perfect rhyme.
© Luigi Pagano
15/03/2019
The Saviour
Today, he stands next to a starving child,
Not knowing that he's going to hell.
He looks into the camera lens,
(Latest model, with that nice newness smell).
He composes an appropriate face:
The crops have failed, this child will die,
And someone has to take the blame.
(Can we encourage the mother to cry,
And then get close-ups of the tears in her eyes?),
But the mother stays mute and her eyes are dry.
Horrified at the unasked-for intrusion,
Of these other staring eyes,
She shrugs and sighs and shifts her gaze,
To the bottle of water in his brief case,
The packet of crisps, the half-eaten pie.
© Robin Kidson
15/03/2019
It it worth sacrificing our country for this lunacy?
Oh my goodness what's that I hear?
Mps voted result is clear
No longer whipped they cast off fear
Instead they just ignored the steer
So now across the House they jeer
How did proceedings get so queer?
Are party leaders left in fear?
Mps resign or just change gear
Brexit delayed another year
Lets stop this madness, end it here
Express regret, don't shed a tear
Say Brexit's dead, its cost too dear
© Lesley Webb
Brexit: MPs vote by a majority of 211 to seek delay to EU departure
14/03/2019
Royal Benefits
Champagne party:
royals are thanked
we gave the money
theirs stayed banked.
Pass round the canapés
pass round the fizz
charity scamathon
right royal swiz.
Rattle on the corner
Nan's putting in
royals take the credit
for coins in the tin.
S.O. Fasrus
Crown Prince Alexander of Serbia talks charity work in interview with Royal Central
14/03/2019
Every Day Is Budget Day (for a Waspi) 13/03/'19
No pension for years
just scraping by; cheers
you're robbing me blind,
aren't you tough?
I'm done in and wrinkly
here's my middle pinkie
to show you that I've had enough
© S.O. Fasrus
Another punch for WASPI women landed by DWP
12/03/2019
Lost
12/03/2019
It’s a grey and blue freeze in here
Here it’s deja-vu number two
It’s seven pm
She’s lost her voice again
She’ll go for deja number three
But
There’s a point in here
In this freeze of grey and blue
That lost voices
Are
No longer worth listening to
© Mark Coverdale
12/03/2019
Oh, what a web we weave...
09/03/2019
Sir Tim Berners-Lee
said, listen to me:
we need global action
to stop the infraction
that's brought the web
to a very low ebb.
As it is well regarded
it must safeguarded.
said, listen to me:
we need global action
to stop the infraction
that's brought the web
to a very low ebb.
As it is well regarded
it must safeguarded.
© Luigi Pagano 2019
Tim Berners-Lee: 'Stop web's downward plunge to dysfunctional future'
09/03/2019
it takes a village
(a nursery rhyme)
mother rocks her little boy
fearing for his life
runs for safety overnight
hated Isis wife
mother asks for help for him
mother's wishes spurned
takes a village to raise a child
but no one's that concerned
little baby frail and cold
little baby coughs
mother rocks her little boy
until his sweet heart stops.
© S.O. Fasrus
ISIS bride Shamima Begum's baby son 'dies in Syria'
09/03/2019
(a nursery rhyme)
mother rocks her little boy
fearing for his life
runs for safety overnight
hated Isis wife
mother asks for help for him
mother's wishes spurned
takes a village to raise a child
but no one's that concerned
little baby frail and cold
little baby coughs
mother rocks her little boy
until his sweet heart stops.
© S.O. Fasrus
ISIS bride Shamima Begum's baby son 'dies in Syria'
09/03/2019
Here is the news...
09/03/2019
Here is the news.
A baby died today.
Also dead are
reason,
compassion,
tolerance
and forgiveness.
Survivors include
racism,
arrogance,
narrow-mindedness
and ugliness.
And now, back to the studio.
© Andrew Goodison
09/03/2019
Self(ie)-made
09/03/2019
She isn't like her sisters
Posting their lives on Insta-
Inviting unwanted attention or comments;
Except no publicity is bad
She's savvy enough to use
Most of the attention for cosmetics,
Although she is the brand, not them.
There may've been loads in the Boots Christmas sale;
But you aren't with it if you don't have
Karshadian-Jenner eyebrows
And beauty is all.
© Amanda Derry
09/03/2019
Shamima Begum's baby
Shamima Begum: Home Secretary criticised as baby dies
07/03/2019
Three children dead.
Have some compassion, whatever
she's done or said.
© Jenni Wyn Hyatt
07/03/2019
Off his head
06/03/2019
The particle centre CERN
showed a lot of concern
because a certain Prof
said the work conducted
by women physicist was not
as good as that of men
and totally bit his head off.
showed a lot of concern
because a certain Prof
said the work conducted
by women physicist was not
as good as that of men
and totally bit his head off.
© Luigi Pagano
Cern cuts ties with 'sexist' scientist Alessandro Strumia
06/03/2019
Some like it not
05/03/2019
This is what's in the news:
Labour are anti-jews;
Tories are against Islam.
If we can find other folk
the LibDems might hate
we will have achieved
a Grand Slam!
Labour are anti-jews;
Tories are against Islam.
If we can find other folk
the LibDems might hate
we will have achieved
a Grand Slam!
© Luigi Pagano
05/03/2019
Self-Love
02/03/2019
Autosexual, hetereosexual, bi-sexual,
Homosexual-
Just labels.
Dress up, have a meal deal (for one)
In your apartment
Take yourself to the cinema,
Complement yourself daily-
It's a win-win.
Engagement may be feasible-
Marriage harder
Except cheaper, on the honeymoon.
Everyone should take tips
On loving themselves!
© Amanda Derry
02/03/2019
Oh Justin!
27/02/2019
Unicorn of hope,
Haloed, open shirted boy;
You made me believe a Government could be ethical
Minority rights were feasible,
That fairer politics was possible
I hope this case results in your favour
And what I always (secretly) believed,
That politics is unworkable for the people-
Isn't true.
© Amanda Derry
27/02/2019
To the rescue
26/02/2019
We often hear of fat cats
but rarely of chubby rats.
Yesterday one of these
who was quite obese
while out on a stroll
got stuck in a manhole.
After hearing him shout
helpers pulled him out.
but rarely of chubby rats.
Yesterday one of these
who was quite obese
while out on a stroll
got stuck in a manhole.
After hearing him shout
helpers pulled him out.
© Luigi Pagano
26/02/2019
In the confessional
24/02/2019
Forgive me Father
for I have sinned.
Sexual predators
think the solution
to their problem
is a confession;
if they unburden
themselves of sin
to their confessor
they'll get absolution
and know very well
he will never tell.
think the solution
to their problem
is a confession;
if they unburden
themselves of sin
to their confessor
they'll get absolution
and know very well
he will never tell.
Especially since
news have emerged
that make us wince:
some clergymen too
have been known
to transgress
though they believe
there isn't any need
for them to confess.
news have emerged
that make us wince:
some clergymen too
have been known
to transgress
though they believe
there isn't any need
for them to confess.
© Luigi Pagano
24/02/2019
Asma al-Assad
she's graceful and appealing
who knows what Asma's feeling
who knows what Asma's thinking
who knows what Asma knows
restrained, correct, alluring
who knows what she's enduring
who knows why Asma's staying
who knows what Asma knows
© S.O. Fasrus
The treatment of Shamima Begum and Asma Al-Assad reveals Britain’s double standards
22/02/2019
she's graceful and appealing
who knows what Asma's feeling
who knows what Asma's thinking
who knows what Asma knows
restrained, correct, alluring
who knows what she's enduring
who knows why Asma's staying
who knows what Asma knows
© S.O. Fasrus
The treatment of Shamima Begum and Asma Al-Assad reveals Britain’s double standards
22/02/2019
The story of O
Husband promises to fight Exeter parking ticket after dyslexic wife enters wrong registration
21/02/2019
A letter O
Instead of a zero
Can make the difference between a fine
Or none
Although down to dyslexia
This could happen to anyone.
© Amanda Derry
21/02/2019
Cat Love
21/02/2019
If I could marry a cat I would,
He said of his feline friend
Who may have offered better companionship
Than vacuous hangers-on;
However he could've demonstrated better taste
Than a Persian one.
© Amanda Derry
21/02/2019
Alabama's 86 Percent
Justices Allow Execution of Muslim Death Row Inmate Who Sought Imam
20/02/2019
God forbid that you find yourself
on death row in Alabama
a Muslim, a Jew or a Buddhist
it is like the start of a joke
because you are the one percent
your religious aspiration don't matter
says the US Supreme Court
giving instead preferential treatment
to your Christian neighbors
in this country that pretends
not to be a theocracy
© Kimberly Burnham
20/02/2019
Pussy galore
16/02/2019
150 million could make Choupette,
Lagerfeld's cat, the richest pet
to his young godson greatest regret.
Lagerfeld's cat, the richest pet
to his young godson greatest regret.
© Luigi Pagano
16/02/2019
An Isis Love Story
Jihadi bride Shamima Begum who fled UK describes the 'best part' of living under ISIS
15/02/2019
The best thing about her experience was
Her husband, the Jihadi bride said,
He was currently in a camp, allegedly had up
By Isis for spying
Her other two children had died but
She wants to come home with her third,
Her 'only regret' being she may not see him again-
He treated her well.
© Amanda Derry
15/02/2019
In the Pink
15/02/2019
Mel's Fendi coat was sold out
With pretty mink cuffs
And fetching check pattern
Is she wearing a bathrobe?
Twitter asked-
Looks like she's stepped out
Of the bathroom,
Chances are it'll be worn once-
But at least
There is a back-up plan.
© Amanda Derry
15/02/2019
A sweeping statement.
10/02/2019
A Hong Kong company
was much criticised
for making an offer
they thought hard to resist.
Discounted laptops
for male employees
and vacuum cleaners
for the distaff side.
But the implication
was decidedly sexist.
Most men protested
saying they were keener
on having the option
of a vacuum cleaner.
was much criticised
for making an offer
they thought hard to resist.
Discounted laptops
for male employees
and vacuum cleaners
for the distaff side.
But the implication
was decidedly sexist.
Most men protested
saying they were keener
on having the option
of a vacuum cleaner.
© Luigi Pagano
10/02/2019
Brass monkey
It seems to be the norm
for chimpanzees to escape
from the zoo enclosure
during a violent storm.
They don't lose composure
when faced by onlookers
but they fear the exposure
to the inclement weather
so they go hell-for-leather
back to their pens.
09/02/2019
It seems to be the norm
for chimpanzees to escape
from the zoo enclosure
during a violent storm.
They don't lose composure
when faced by onlookers
but they fear the exposure
to the inclement weather
so they go hell-for-leather
back to their pens.
© Luigi Pagano
09/02/2019
The Chase
© Andrew Goodison
Jedward fan shocked as Amazon’s Alexa claims Irish pop duo died aged 17 in 2011 — despite them since touring and having a TV show
Two train changes, cross-country,
Delays in the aftermath of Christmas-
I arrive at Dad's exhausted
He watches The Chase, too loud
Blaring ITV images;
Answering quiz questions
Is good for his brain, Anne explains.
The following day I'm willing to watch
University Challenge, Pointless-
Not, The Chase.
© Amanda Derry
Jedward
Alexa said this about Jedward:
that the two Irish boys were both deadward.
Alexa's fake news
did not much amuse,
in fact, we all were misled ward.© Andrew Goodison
06/02/2019
A smoking gun
I am ninety-nine years old
and I am gasping for a fag.
When I reach one hundredand I am gasping for a fag.
I'll be dying because of one.
© Luigi Pagano
05/02/2019
Croc(k)ery
03/02/2019
A mighty salty at our sink
had cleaned the plates off in a blink.
‘Bonzer dinner, mate’, he cried,
and burped – but that was Dad inside!
© Mandy Macdonald
20,000 homes at risk in Australia floods as crocodiles, snakes wash up
03/02/2019
A fight to the finish
02/02/2019
As she is a good sport
she's asked the support
of her arch-enemy
a man called Jeremy.
She'll hustle and bustle
the people in Brussels
with the utmost zeal
to save the exit deal.
Those who don't want out
want to save the sprout.
They'll flex their muscles
to keep their brussels
and will fight Mrs. May
forever and a day.
she's asked the support
of her arch-enemy
a man called Jeremy.
She'll hustle and bustle
the people in Brussels
with the utmost zeal
to save the exit deal.
Those who don't want out
want to save the sprout.
They'll flex their muscles
to keep their brussels
and will fight Mrs. May
forever and a day.
© Luigi Pagano
02/02/2019
Thirty Second News
31/01/2019
A thirty second slot
on the TV news
pointed out the match
by the nuclear fuse -
America pulls out
of the missile ban,
media treating news
as only media can:
a full five minutes
on a celebrity royal,
giving out food
wrapped in celebrity foil,
writing her words
on soon-decayed fruit,
while the TV news
debase and dilute -
as Mulder said,
‘the truth is out there’,
the truth, it seems,
is that we just don’t care.
© Andrew Goodson
31/01/2019
Not Cool Daddy
30/01/2019
Amidst the moans and all the rants
this news popped up about freezing pants-
this news popped up about freezing pants-
The neighbourhood is warmed with glee
by marching pants for all to see-
by marching pants for all to see-
But alas, alack, there are burning cheeks,
red with shame ‘cos Dad’s a freak-
red with shame ‘cos Dad’s a freak-
Two daughters long for warmer days
when freezing pants no longer raise
a toot and titter from the band
when freezing pants no longer raise
a toot and titter from the band
“It's got to stop, Dad's out of hand!!”
© Bex Tate
30/01/2019
I say, I say, I say
28/01/2019
I know that comedians
yearn to play Hamlet,
a role much iconic,
but a flight attendant
who wants to be a comic
is a new one on me.
I hear she tells jokes
with pre-flight advice
to calm nervous folks
and to break the ice.
yearn to play Hamlet,
a role much iconic,
but a flight attendant
who wants to be a comic
is a new one on me.
I hear she tells jokes
with pre-flight advice
to calm nervous folks
and to break the ice.
© Luigi Pagano
28/01/2019
Bearing up
27/01/2019
A three year-old
lost in the woods
for two days
met, so he said,
a friendly bear,
He took good care
of the little mite
who wasn't hurt
but his absence
gave his family
a fright.
lost in the woods
for two days
met, so he said,
a friendly bear,
He took good care
of the little mite
who wasn't hurt
but his absence
gave his family
a fright.
© Luigi Pagano
27/01/2019
Holocaust
27/01/2019
Denial of the gassing of the masses
Gaslighting on a mass scale
Both the action and reaction
Systematic eradication
© Janey Colbourne
27/01/2019
Trumpageddon (Paradise In Germophobia)
they will rake away the leaf-litter,
and take it away for hygienic disposal.
All signs of insects
and smaller or larger life
will be cleansed
by petrochemical fumigation
and the remains burnt away
till the face of the Earth
is at last sterile.
© David Bateman
26/01/2019
Contingency Plan
© Juliette Sebock
'Justice Delayed Is Justice Denied' As Government Shutdown Affects Federal Courts
U.S. Department of Justice FY 2019 Contingency Plan
Note: Extract included for context.
26/01/2019
© Juliette Sebock
'Justice Delayed Is Justice Denied' As Government Shutdown Affects Federal Courts
Note: Extract included for context.
26/01/2019
Inside knowledge
25/01/2019
Palace insiders confirmed
that Her Majesty The Queen
loves the TV quiz Pointless
but perhaps what they meant
is that's what she thinks
of the whole Brexit process.
that Her Majesty The Queen
loves the TV quiz Pointless
but perhaps what they meant
is that's what she thinks
of the whole Brexit process.
© Luigi Pagano
25/01/2019
Seventeen Lawyers
Trump hires 17 lawyers to protect him from Mueller investigation, while federal workers go unpaid during shutdown
24/01/2019
Seventeen lawyers
and Trump still wants a wall,
seventeen lawyers
and Trump still wants a wall,
and if one bent lawyer
should flip and seek a plea-deal,
there’ll be sixteen lawyers
and Trump still wants a wall.
To be continued.
© David Bateman
24/01/2019
Dyson's departure
22/01/2019
By leaving,
he creates a vacuum -
no change there then.
© Andrew Goodison
22/01/2019
Consider
20/01/2019
Consider Prime Minister May -
things haven’t been going her way.
Her party is split
on the point of Brexit,
and the country is in disarray.
© Andrew Goodison
20/01/2019
Penguin Awareness Day
20/01/2019
I did not know until today
that Penguin Awareness Day
was all of a sudden upon us.
I read a poem while on a bus
written by that modern bard,
Brian Bilston, that was hard
to believe but fascinating.
In it he seems to be stating
that one is a guest of his
but doesn't know why that is.
that Penguin Awareness Day
was all of a sudden upon us.
I read a poem while on a bus
written by that modern bard,
Brian Bilston, that was hard
to believe but fascinating.
In it he seems to be stating
that one is a guest of his
but doesn't know why that is.
© Luigi Pagano 2019
20/01/2019
Critical - A Tanka
18/01/2019
There’s a gap in the
Market for some critical
Thinking the problem’s
Not the thought process it’s that
It’s all just market driven
Thinking the problem’s
Not the thought process it’s that
It’s all just market driven
© Mark Coverdale
18/01/2019
Royal collision
17/01/2019
Philip has retired from public duty;
Still insisting on driving his Rover
Involved in a collision,
His breath limits were taken
He's currently being looked after by Wifey.
Still insisting on driving his Rover
Involved in a collision,
His breath limits were taken
He's currently being looked after by Wifey.
© Amanda Derry
17/01/2019
Ups and downs
15/01/2019
A nonagenarian,
the only competitor
in a cycling race,
took some drug
to give him zest.
He was first (of course)
at the finishing post
but found to his cost
that he had failed
the anti-doping test.
the only competitor
in a cycling race,
took some drug
to give him zest.
He was first (of course)
at the finishing post
but found to his cost
that he had failed
the anti-doping test.
© Luigi Pagano 2019
15/01/2019
The end of the road?
15/01/2019
Many fans will be upset
if Andy leaves the stage.
It isn't because of old age
that he intends to retire
but because his body suffers
from pains in his injured hip.
He might have to skip
the Wimbledon tournament.
And added to that torment
there is a further regret:
that his daughter will never
see him play.
if Andy leaves the stage.
It isn't because of old age
that he intends to retire
but because his body suffers
from pains in his injured hip.
He might have to skip
the Wimbledon tournament.
And added to that torment
there is a further regret:
that his daughter will never
see him play.
© Luigi Pagano 2019
15/01/2019
Darknet
14/01/2019
Tumblr is cleaning up
Creepshots of people fully clothed,
Pornography with cloned heads
Non-consensual has been moved
From the sexual.
Desperate for a look,
A fantasy, a laugh-
A five minute distraction
Salacious clips
Crawl the Darknet,
The underbelly
Of our humanity.
Creepshots of people fully clothed,
Pornography with cloned heads
Non-consensual has been moved
From the sexual.
Desperate for a look,
A fantasy, a laugh-
A five minute distraction
Salacious clips
Crawl the Darknet,
The underbelly
Of our humanity.
© Amanda Derry
14/01/2019
20% profit
13/01/2019
Green belt land is bulldozed
For 1,300 new homes-
Locals don't like it because
There's no 'affordable' housing or bungalows.
It's convenient for the private school Kings-
And routes into Manchester and Wales
Though Wrexham Road will be clogged up-
That's someone else's problem;
The developers just want
Their 20% profit and to move on.
For 1,300 new homes-
Locals don't like it because
There's no 'affordable' housing or bungalows.
It's convenient for the private school Kings-
And routes into Manchester and Wales
Though Wrexham Road will be clogged up-
That's someone else's problem;
The developers just want
Their 20% profit and to move on.
© Amanda Derry
13/01/2019
Stonewalling
11/01/2019
The donkey stays firm
to make the elephant squirm;
the economy will stall
and that's enough
to drive one up the wall.
to make the elephant squirm;
the economy will stall
and that's enough
to drive one up the wall.
© Luigi Pagano 2019
11/01/2019
Open to question
08/01/2019
On the TV show “Question Time”,
chaired by a forceful Fiona Bruce,
there were fierce animated debates;
the panellists fought long and hard
and they never called for a truce.
© Luigi Pagano 2019
08/01/2019
Boxing Clever
06/01/2019
In Rio de Janeiro
a would-be thief
tried to mug a female
strawweight boxer
with muscles of steel
and not made of straw.
She remained very cool
and floored the fool
with a vigorous kick
and a punch to the jaw.
a would-be thief
tried to mug a female
strawweight boxer
with muscles of steel
and not made of straw.
She remained very cool
and floored the fool
with a vigorous kick
and a punch to the jaw.
© Luigi Pagano
06/01/2019
O tempora! O mores!
06/01/2019
Gammon protests Vegan
Brexitless breakfast.
Vegetables of the world unite
You have nothing to lose
but your brains.
Brexitless breakfast.
Vegetables of the world unite
You have nothing to lose
but your brains.
© Phil Knight
06/01/2019
A head of steam
I read that the coffee
is now bulletproof.
It was unbelievable;
I nearly hit the roof.
It is not the espresso
that makes me aflutter
but a new concoction
with added butter
and coconut oil.
Just to think of it
made my blood boil.
is now bulletproof.
It was unbelievable;
I nearly hit the roof.
It is not the espresso
that makes me aflutter
but a new concoction
with added butter
and coconut oil.
Just to think of it
made my blood boil.
© Luigi Pagano
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