Sunday, 23 September 2018


I was much more depressed than you knew
only calling on the days I could cover this truth
I lost the music in my voice, I’m sure you heard it
I stayed in my room, and slept, and couldn’t bear it

Some days I felt nothing, and only fed my shadow
in my tunnel of sorrows a ghost train of ruined memories
the spirits of regret making me jump from my thin skin.
When you feel worthless and wrong, you will never guess
just how long a minute takes to pass

Your voice was so far away, that day
your words skirting round me like concerned bees -
Who am I when I am not myself.
I don’t know if you can be my dearest old friend
If I’m now somebody else.

I am sorry I could not wait for the day
the poetry would peep through the curtains again
and make me smile again

I’m so sorry I was drowning as I waved goodbye.

© S. O. Fasrus

Suicide rate rises among young people in England and Wales

S.O. Fasrus: Social Justice Campaigner & Social Research Interviewer. Her verse and poems; some comic; satirical; and serious; can be found online. Recent poems are in New Verse News, Culture Matters, and Poems for Grenfell Tower.