‘Read all about it' - we have the proof
Planet Earth is well and truly flat
Like one of the Crucible tables
Maybe, even flatter than that!
What no beer? Will English fans still cheer?
Sorry no pop, for that sugar rush
No breakfast crumpets dripping with butter
It’s true; this place has lost its fizz
Who knew what CO2 could do?
Perhaps it’s an illusion, just creating confusion
CO2 went AWOL or maybe just missing
Plants offline for routine maintenance
Resulting in queues and rationing for all
So how was this allowed to happen?
It’s madness, all this flatness!
The masses must swelter and bake in the sun
But supply verses demand is always a winner
Watch those prices start to rise
Within every cloud, a lining is shining
CO2, you see, drives those deadly stun guns
So abattoirs must wait, for supplies to return
And the three little piggies are safe; for a while
As we Britons bask in Mediterranean temperatures
Lettuces and cauliflowers shrivel and shrink in the fields
But all is not lost, you’ll remember that lining
The grapes on the vine are amazing this year
Meaning plenty of British wine to drink...
© Peter Wright
CO2 supplies 'may take two weeks to return to normal'
Peter Wright was born and grew up in Kent and now lives in
Dorset. He started writing poetry just over a year ago and tries to
write something every day.