Friday, 26 January 2018

The Presidents Men

Watch the wall my darling while the Gentlemen go by*

There’s a disclaimer
welcoming us to the most un-PC
event of the year.

Bid for Boris or the Bank
of England’s ear. Imagine deals
in a strip joint;

peel monkeys
from your bulging pocket wad:
and watch them dance.

Or spice up your wife
with cosmetic surgery.
You choose

from a catalogue
of skimpy women parading
boys’ toys: casino

roll play for the night.
Down that glass, rip off
your knickers and dance,

He’s letting off steam.
You’re nineteen? Come
up to my room.

Three balance sheets to the wind.
It’s all for charity. So much
on offer. How can you

© Myfanwy Fox

*A Smuggler’s Song, Rudyard Kipling

Men Only: Inside the charity fundraiser where hostesses are put on show

Myfanwy Fox has had a weird life and would like to make yours weirder, too. She occasionally blogs at Fox Unkennelled


It’s hard not to brush up
against someone you know here.

Familiar faces pack the room,
quite a squeeze.

Everything at eye level
is pretty straight

but, like swans, it’s all going on
down below.

My dominant hand holds a glass,
my other hand.

With such a crowd, I can balance
on one leg, not fall.

My other leg can slide into position,
like a trombone.

Great men doing it for charity, just
giving something back.

© Pat Edwards

Presidents Club dinner: Charity Commission boss 'horrified' by groping claims

Pat Edwards is a writer, teacher and performer living in Mid Wales. Her work has appeared in various publications including Prole, Picaroon, The Curlew, Ink Sweat and Tears and the soon to be published #MeToo Anthology. Pat runs Verbatim poetry open mic nights and curates Welshpool Poetry Festival.