(Your partner incessantly snoring),
It’s time for a holiday cheer,
More potent than whiskey or beer.
You order online from the Joy Store,
The country’s most primitive toy store
A calendar filled with surprise—
The hottest of Christmas supplies.
The need for this stuff appears dire,
For interest is spreading like fire.
A ton ain’t enough; we need four.
The shipment will soon come to shore.
The product increases attraction.
We do guarantee satisfaction
(A bonus you cannot ignore).
We trust they will be twenty-four.
© Vala Hafstað
Vala Hafstað is the author of News Muse: Humorous Poems Inspired by Strange News. She lives in Iceland, where she has worked as a journalist and managing editor, and keeps her eyes open for any inspiring news.