Do you wake up thinking Jerusalem and jam
Wipe your plates with royal faced tea towels?
And take the bright red bus to a dull, dull office?
#TheBritishDream: when u think 'it is a coat day' so u wear a coat and it turns out it was indeed a coat day and u are a good temperature
Do you start your day with a pinky-fingered Earl Grey or a
builder’s brew stirred with a splash of fake cockney
and just a small spoon of casual xenophobia?
#TheBritishDream: slightly better weather on bank holidays
Do dreams have a nationality?
Does Uncle Sam prod pillows and
whisper sweet everythings about all those amendments?
#TheBritishDream: getting through a self-checkout without ‘unexpected item’ in the bagging area
Does the right to bear arms
comfort and cuddle our cousins as they
zee zee zee til morning?
#TheBritishDeam: a channel that plays Del-boy falling through the bar 24 hours a day
Do they bounce outta bed, with their cuppa Jo
And go off in their Cadillac in the pursuit of
life, liberty and happiness?
#TheBritishDream: finding a Kit Kat with no wafer in it
#TheBritishDream: sausages and mash Desperate-Dan style
#TheBritishDream: a nice cup of tea and a sit down
#TheBritishDream: changing queues and finding the one you have moved to, does, in fact, move faster
#TheBritishDream: doing an entire speech without interruption, without pranksters, without heckling, without coughing, without letters droppin
© Jane Slavin
Jane Slavin is a former journalist, now council press officer, living in Plymouth. In her spare time, she is falling in love with words again by making her own stuff up!