Friday, 13 October 2017

The British Dream

Do you dream British?

Do you wake up thinking Jerusalem and jam

Wipe your plates with royal faced tea towels?

And take the bright red bus to a dull, dull office?

#TheBritishDream: when u think 'it is a coat day' so u wear a coat and it turns out it was indeed a coat day and u are a good temperature

Do you start your day with a pinky-fingered Earl Grey or a

builder’s brew stirred with a splash of fake cockney

and just a small spoon of casual xenophobia?

#TheBritishDream: slightly better weather on bank holidays

Do dreams have a nationality?

Does Uncle Sam prod pillows and

whisper sweet everythings about all those amendments?

#TheBritishDream: getting through a self-checkout without ‘unexpected item’ in the bagging area

Does the right to bear arms

comfort and cuddle our cousins as they

zee zee zee til morning?

#TheBritishDeam: a channel that plays Del-boy falling through the bar 24 hours a day

Do they bounce outta bed, with their cuppa Jo

And go off in their Cadillac in the pursuit of

life, liberty and happiness?

#TheBritishDream: finding a Kit Kat with no wafer in it

#TheBritishDream: sausages and mash Desperate-Dan style

#TheBritishDream: a nice cup of tea and a sit down

#TheBritishDream: changing queues and finding the one you have moved to, does, in fact, move faster

#TheBritishDream: doing an entire speech without interruption, without pranksters, without heckling, without coughing, without letters droppin


© Jane Slavin

Theresa May offers the ‘British dream’ but speech turns into a nightmare

Jane Slavin is a former journalist, now council press officer, living in Plymouth. In her spare time, she is falling in love with words again by making her own stuff up!