Friday, 15 September 2017


I’m not, admittedly, the world’s most handsome
of lizards, so my mirror tells me daily.
I’ve never been approached to be a model -
not that I’m overweight, just – over-scaly.
My eyes are on the sides which makes things awkward
when chatting up a female in a bar.
She’s never sure I’m paying her attention
while all the other girls around her are.
Despite all this, however, it’s an insult
to read the news today. Well, what a shock!
However could a lizard be mistaken
for a smelly, crusty, old discarded sock?
My eyes – they may not do me any favours,
But they should have gone – that family – to Specsavers.

© Fran Hill

Fran is a writer and English teacher based in Warwickshire, UK.