I needed a hat as my old one was fraying and tatty.
I went in a shop. They said, ‘Sir, we’ve a new one outside.
Just step out the door and you’ll see it right there on the pavement.
The latest design, it is one you can wear with much pride.’
I asked, ‘Can I try it?’ They said, ‘Sir, our aim is to please you
and we’re sure it will look really wonderful on you, it’s true!
It’s not like a normal hat. Just bend down here. Put your head in.
Oh yes, what a fit! It’s so snug, as if made just for you!’
I put the hat on and then wondered, from inside the headgear
whether hats that you couldn’t take off were a new current fashion,
because, try as I might, I could not free myself from its ‘snugness’
and was further upset, too, to find that it had lots of trash in.
I heard them all laughing as I shouted ‘Help!’ from within
the worst kind of hat that my poor head had ever bin in.
© Fran Hill
Man freed after getting his head stuck in bin in Aberdeen
Fran lives in the West Midlands (UK). She teaches English in a local secondary school, writes, performs, blogs, tweets and tries to resist chocolate.