Sunday, 23 September 2012

Sunday Review and Royal Supplement - with boobs!

  • Review
  • Crikey, It's Keyhole Kate Giving Cheer by Philip Johnson
  • Keeping Abreast of the Royals by Peter Goulding
We started and ended this week with excavations - from the welcome return of Marilyn Brindley with These Bones on the possible unearthing of Richard III's remains under a Leicester car park (with plenty of snippets of the bard buried in the poem!) to L.S.Bassen's Excavation at Clitor which capered nimbly in a lady's chamber on the release of a new biography of the vagina reviewed in the NYT.

Jim Bennett gave us a moment's silence with his simple, moving reading the report as the truth finally comes to light of multiple cover-ups and injustices in the wake of the 1989 Hillsborough disaster.

Also this week, Phillip Challinor took time off from acerbic observations of dodgy politicians to wax lyrical about Edward Lear in his bicentenary year - Seriously Pleasant. Anthony Baverstock's unsettling After the typhoon haiku was strong words, softly spoken - and a visual treat and Vala Hafstad had us window-shopping for men in a Paris boutique in The Selection. As she describes it the process is similar to how we receive your poems: We look at them all, one by one. / It gives us such pleasure and fun.

We round off the week below with two poems regarding 'those' pictures of Kate Middleton - a subject some of our male contributors couldn't wait to get their hands on and have a titter over.

Have a good week

Clare (& Martin)

Crikey, It's Keyhole Kate Giving Cheer

ATOS continue to tip the disabled out of their wheelchairs
post Olympics, they are the new cash cow

capable of some work, it is said.

And compensation for unfair dismissal is to be cut
too many guilty consciences in the coalition

too many TUC members raring to dance on Thatcher's grave,

more-like?  While one pair o' tits make so many shameful Acts
of Parliament making mock of honest toil

another pair are practically blooming for Britain all over Europe

(0)(0)                                           (.)(.)                                           (o)(o)
                          (-)(-)                                            (+)(+)

                                           (*)(*)              (")(")
© Philip Johnson

Keeping abreast of the Royals

Personally I don’t understand what all the kerfuffle and the clamour is
To line up to vilify and to scourge the photographer who snapped (and the magazine that published)   pictures  of the royal mammaries.
It seems that issues like social injustice, homelessness and poor education standards stir up far fewer ripples
than publication of blue-blooded nipples.
And it appears that when Sharon Stone or Kerry Katona or Princess Whatever of Monaco are photographed topless, the great British public don’t give a sea-
Turtle’s left nadger for the principles of personal privacy,
But become apoplectic when the displayed boobies
are adorned by House of Windsor diamonds and rubies.
(Though I suspect that most young men and even older ones, sons, husbands and dads
Would not be seriously offended if she got her tits out a bit more often for the lads.)
I am somewhat surprised also that the special advisor to the royal chest,
(Who should know best)
Did not advise the future queen that wearing a bra instead of going topless
Will make them flop less
Though, judging by the pictures in the Irish Daily Star that I accidentally leafed through the other day
while in my local shop,
There’s not a whole lot there to flop
And, although I hold my hand up and admit I’m not really one to snigger
At someone else’s figure,
I think Will’s are bigger.
Suffice to say, I go along with Spike Milligan’s dictum that people who live in glass houses
Should pull the curtains before removing their trousers.

© Peter Goulding

Irish Daily Star Editor Michael O'Kane suspended over Kate Middleton photos 

Peter Goulding rails at life from the comfort of his armchair on the outskirts of Dublin. He would love to find a lot of money in a hedge