It’s time for you all to acknowledge
That stress is a problem in college,
And stress takes a terrible toll.
We must get it under control.
We feared that you students might lose it,
And hired a team to reduce it.
Today we present to the press
The experts who work against stress.
Available at any hour,
An expert will use all his power
To listen and soothe every mind.
This treatment is one of a kind.
A secret he keeps without trouble:
The seal on his lips remains double.
He may not give any advice –
His presence is sure to suffice.
He may not have much education.
His language will need no translation.
His background is humble indeed;
He’s never been taught how to read.
You may take him home if you’re lonely.
I promise you, he is the only
Professional you can check out.
It’s helpful, without any doubt.
With him at your side you’ll be happy.
Your life will no longer seem crappy.
Stay close to him just for a while.
His calmness will bring you a smile.
Our experts have duties so many,
But don’t earn as much as a penny.
They do not have emails or blogs.
They’re certified therapy dogs.
© Vala Hafstad
Pooches on campus: Colleges host dog visits, create pet-friendly dorms to ease student stress
Vala Hafstad lives in Minnesota. She writes humorous poems for children and, occasionally, their parents.