So the Party’s on the look-out for a hero
and Boris, it seems, is its man;
Boris, who’s brave, and as tough as old boots;
as smart as new paint and as meek as a lamb;
Boris who’s funny and ballsy and brash,
and who basks in the warmth of The Sun.
‘It’s Boris,’ says London, ‘’e’s one of yer own;
‘e likes a few beers an’ some fun.’
And Boris is affable, Boris is frank;
Boris tells it straight, just like it is;
while Osborne lies lurking and Cameron quakes,
BJ knows the future is his.
Because, don’t you know, he’s a chap just like us,
and what’s more he’s been on TV;
he’s clever and quick, and not ruthless at all;
but as safe and as sweet as high tea.
They call it ‘the bonus’, the ‘popular touch’;
they say he’s the man for the fight;
but it’s nothing but branding, the weight of the press,
and the power of media hype;
and Boris is Boris is what people want
because Boris burns bright like a star;
if Cameron blusters and Milliband bleats,
then Boris will buzz like a wasp in a jar.
© Abigail Wyatt
Boris for prime minister? London win raises stakes
Abigail is the 2012 winner of the Lisa Thomas Poetry Award. Her collection, 'Old Soldiers, Old Bones and Other Stories' , will be published by One Million Stories early in 2012.