Saturday, 28 April 2012

The Eton Gloat Song

When you are at Eton the students play tricks
So I hid the headmaster’s bike
He wrote to my Dad, “that’s my lad” said my Dad
‘Cause I was at Eton, we do what we like

When I left school I worked for a Judge
I got drunk, hung his wig on a spike
He was very polite when he sacked me that night
But I went to Eton, so I’ll be alright

So I joined the Navy to travel the World
And I met a young Russian named Mike
We sneaked into Spain sold Hash and Cocaine
‘Cause I went to Eton, we do what we like

We made lots of cash so to China we went
The journey was quite a long hike
Blue Films we imported, I was quietly deported
‘Cause I went to Eton they only jailed Mike

Then back to Britain, I hastily returned
And stood for Election at Pinner
To my Polling Station flocked friends and relations
Because of dear Eton, I was easily the winner

The time came to choose our Prime Minister
I wanted the job and the glamour
The election was done, I easily won
I’m from Eton, the rest were all Grammar.

© Ralph Killey

Tory backbencher calls Cameron an 'arrogant posh boy'
Ralph Killey worked on the Liverpool Echo for thirty years and became part owner of World Group Newspapers, Lancashire. He has a collection entitled: 'When there's Notin' on the Tele'.