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Monday, 16 April 2012

Saving Lazy

My illness began in November,
And then, on the third of December,
They told us the tumor was bad.
My master was terribly sad.

No reason for me to be emo.
They gave me the option of chemo.
A bone-marrow transplant, they said,
Would follow, or else I’d be dead.

„It doesn’t come cheap, saving Lazy.
The figures may sound kind of crazy.
My best guess is 25 grand.
Be ready next week, cash in hand.“

„The kids can forget about college.
The price is too high for that knowledge.
What matters is saving her life,“
Said master, and so did his wife.

My owners collected their money.
With tears in their eyes, they said, „Honey,
Why should we accumulate wealth?
The focus should be on your health.”

I noticed the children were bitter.
They said so on Facebook and Twitter.
My sickness did not make them weep.
They said euthanasia was cheap.

The hospital stay went by quickly.
For days after that I looked sickly,
But then I began to feel fine.
My owners were both on cloud nine.

But sunshine is followed by showers,
And this time the luck wasn’t ours.
One day, at a quarter to three,
It struck me that I couldn’t pee.

A tumor obstructed my urine,
According to Dr. Banduren.
To cure it cost many a buck
(Six thousand).  The dad sold his truck.

He had to find new transportation,
And quickly, without reservation,
Got used to the train ride to work.
(He worked at a bank as a clerk.)

Then, after they cured my last ailment,
There happened this tragic derailment.
The kids tried to blame it on me.
The widow, she seemed to agree.

The house was bereft of contentment.
I noticed an air of resentment
The next time we went to the vet.
It turned out that they were in debt.

I died about seven months later.
Their daughter, the animal-hater,
Engraved on my tombstone:  “A Bitch
- The Reason We Never Got Rich.”

©   Vala Hafstad

New Treatments to Save a Pet, but Questions About the Costs
Vala Hafstad lives in Minnesota.  She writes humorous poems for children and, occasionally, their parents.


  1. This reminds me of my own well-loved animals that I have had to take responsibility for treatment or deciding it's time to say goodbye. Difficult - treatment often inflicts trauma and suffering, money just complicates the decision unfortunately.

    1. You're absolutely right.

  2. Since the invention of the euthanasia injection I have always taken the decision to have the vet use it as soon as we know the ailment is the first of a series that will keep the poor animal in pain until it dies, no matter what we spend or do.
    It is the kindest and most responsible way, hard as it is.
    Actually, I would prefer that choice for myself were it available!

    1. I think that's a wise approach, difficult as it is.