Let the News be your Muse. Send your news-inspired poems to poetry24ed@gmail.com

Wednesday, 25 January 2012

Paula Deen Ain’t no Lean Machine

Not witnessed, not tragic, but perhaps
some magic in relating this story
because it made me smile and
even laugh when I looked at that
white hair, wide, smiling face photograph:
Paula Deen! Paula, Paula Deen!

No surprise that she has Type 2 Diabetes,
had it for three years, what with all
that sugar and fat she eats and teaches
plus that engaging laugh, "Y'all!"--
adding “I’ve always preached moderation,”
and “I don’t blame myself.”
Golden Mean! Paula Deen!

Oh No! Will not change her cooking style;
she's put on a new layer, teamed up
with a Danish pharmaceutical company
to spread the Company’s catchy slogan:
“Diabetes in a New Light” which advocates
the drug Victoria, and eating lighter foods…
perhaps, and maybe exercising...perhaps...

Son Bobby (no Diabetes yet) has his
own show: “Not My Mama’s Meals,”
and isn’t it just a family affair, what
with the business, food, transformation
and above all, the money money money!
Nothing like family sticking together
like macaroni you forgot to rinse!

New York’s marketing head says,
“There’s no question that she was the face
of a certain kind of egregious indulgence…”
Well, she says she won’t stop eating the way she does!
thousands of supportive tweets...and she
will continue to cook, to eat...teach kids
how to end up with Diabetes 2.
"Cause, honey," Ain't we all in this together
in our cute little stew like button mushrooms
swimming in butter and gasping for air?

As for Paula? She’s smiling wide
with her new family story,
meanwhile promoting the drug:
"Victoria." Y'all come to dinner soon now, ya hear?
We'll chow down and pop that pill and won't it be sweet?
Hail to the Queen! Paula Deen.

© Kay Weeks

Chef Has Diabetes, and Some Say ‘I Told You So’


Kay worked for 30 years for the US National Parks Service in the area of National Historic Preservation, retiring in 2005. She writes and publishes poetry in the US and the UK.


  1. Congratulations on your publication! How exciting....I really liked the poem. I'll read it again and again. I am fascinated by how long she kept this condition a secret. I found out from People magazine that she smokes, too. Wow...that's a lot of abuse for a body.

    Ellicott City, MD

  2. don't know her...more than I wanted to know...very clever and biting. congrats on its publication.

    Seattle, WA

  3. Fantastic poem - would be a great one to read out loud - great rhythm and internal rhymes and love the sarcastic tone.