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Monday, 29 August 2011

Thanks Irene

Irene you stole the thunder of our grand entrance
And made sure the spotlight was on you
For the first dance
Thanks Irene,
Because of you there will be no Motzi from Uncle Murray
No toast from the best man who was finally going to admit
to my mother, that he is to blame
for the “wrong” turn my life took
Oh so many phases ago.

Thanks Irene,
Because of you there is three quarters of a wedding cake
Sitting on my mothers kitchen counter
Headed for the garbage bin.
My father hording a salvaged platter of chilled shrimp, crab legs and crudite’
For himself, with a plastic cocktail fork keeping us all at bay.

Thanks to you Irene,
There will be no vodka bar, slice meat station, regional wine tasting
Or cheese’s from diverse European nations nibbled upon.
No pigs in blankets, hamburger sliders,
fried calamari in tempura batter or
caprese salad on a skewer.
No cocktail hour small talk
No family secrets whispered over high end whiskey
No past grudges quietly toasted and forgotten.

Thanks Irene,
You imposing blustery bitch,
Because of you the Hora will not be danced
And the ice cream bar will not be scooped.

Thanks Irene,
For not only raining on our wedding day
But for flooding the neighborhood
Causing the bridges and tunnels to be closed
And twisting the power lines into Bavarian pretzels.

Thanks Irene,
The ultimate uninvited guest
Not only did you crash my wedding day
You could have at least given us a gift.

© Joshua Baumgarten

New York recovers as Irene passes
Editor's note: Joshua writes from New York, "Here with my wife to celebrate our marriage with the American side of my family.  Due to Irene it never happened.  The big party was cancelled due to the storm.  Which luckily for us, the hype was worse then her bite."
Joshua is an ex-pat New Yorker living in Holland. He organises the Irrational Library evenings - nights of poetry, rock n roll and casual chaos, and performs as a Standup Spoken Word artist.


  1. How poignant and wry. I've been thinking of all those for whom Irene was more than just a passing excitement - those who are ill, the expectant and new mums and yes, those due to be married or celebrate other important events. It reminds us painfully that we don't control life though we do a very good job of pretending we do these days!

  2. One of my friends moved the wedding up a day since all the family would be town that evening anyway. Weather usually totally ignores your plans.

    I liked all the images and the sarcastic attitude.

  3. Joshua is having problems with leaving a response to your comments, and has asked me to post on his behalf.

    Thanks for the comments. Even though the wedding reception was cancelled, we all feel lucky. We got off easy. No damage, no injury. Plus when the lights went out we enjoyed some good old fashioned quality time.

  4. Love the idea of power lines being shaped into pretzels. Sorry Irene rained on your parade, but you've got an entertaining poem out of it!

  5. Oh, perfect. I love the irreverent TRUTH of this. Good night, Irene.