Wednesday, 17 August 2011

Sarah Palin’s Ride

(after H.W. Longfellow and Dr. Seuss)

Listen my children and you shall hear
The sound of the ocean in Palin’s ear.
On the third day of June, 2011,
Sarah’s fresh hell entered blogosphere heaven.
She’d stopped in a shop in the Olde Town of Boston,
Surely a detail that cannot be lost on
Anyone—anyone, even a kid—
For everyone knows what Paul Revere did.

We all studied English, and history too,
From sunny L.A. to Kalamazoo,
We all read that poem, we all know that quote,
That romanticized fantasy Longfellow wrote.
“The British are coming!” That’s what he said.
But Sarah’s apparently touched in the head.
Poor thing, she’s a moron, our almost-V.P.,
A Madonna-like media whore on T.V.

A lesson in Longfellow’s long overdue,
A fellow could help—hubby Todd? Levi too?
They’d line up to teach her, the whole GOP,
They’d drop all their golf clubs, they’d spill all their tea.
They’re fine with the fact that despite all her looks,
Our Sarah just frets when she gets grown-up books:
“Where are the pictures, the bunnies to pat,
Where is that moon or that cat in that hat?”

She’s got fabulous suits, she’s got nice shiny hair
But her poor head is hollow, there’s nothing in there.
O Sarah, you should have prepared for your trip!
Next time bring buttons to button your lip—
One if by plane, two if by tour bus.
’Til then you’re our favorite clown in the circus.

© Brent Calderwood

Sarah Palin claims Paul Revere warned the British
Brent Calderwood, a Lit Editor for A&U Magazine and Associate Editor at Lambda Literary, currently divides his time between San Francisco and Atlanta, and between poetry and writing that pays the bills.