Friday, 4 March 2011

Dear Rupert

Dear Rupert: What a splendid ruse
To spin your money-losing News!
I cannot emphasise enough
Our need to look just slightly tough
On all monopolies and such
As may appear to own too much;
Because we must be seen to be
As fair as brute expediency
Allows us, more or less, to seem
Without reducing fat cats' cream.

We know your dear News Corporation
Has much adorned our fragrant nation
With paywalls, phone-taps, racism, tits,
Coulson, MacKenzie, other wits
Mostly too numerous to name -
In short, dear chum, the Murdoch fame
Rings out so true across the earth
That it would really not be worth
Inquiring further of your bid;
Indeed, I'd say that if we did,
It could not help but be a stain
And blot upon our Monarch's reign.

Rupert, it is an honour to
Yield up this little gift to you
(And, frankly, it can only be
A short time till the BBC
Is offered, with humility,
To gladden your senility).
Yours most sincerely, Jerry Hunt,
Your faithful Culture Sec., and Conservative.

© Philip Challinor

Rupert Murdoch offers to 'spin off' Sky News for BSkyB deal


Weblog: The Curmudgeon - You'll come for the curses. You'll stay for the mudgeonry.
Books: Philip Challinor's Books