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Monday, 28 February 2011

Bring Home the Bacon

Three rashers a day
is all I can have.
Three rashers a day and five veg.
A small glass of wine is really OK
poured precisely from
unit pipettes.

No fags are allowed
and weed's still illegal,
but three rashers
can grace my plate.
Must it be back
or is streaky permitted?
Does the seventy grams include fat?

I can eat lots of eggs,
they have been found
not guilty,
but a brussel sprout omelette
je ne sais quoi.

I'll reflect on this guidance
when thought is conducive
after my brandy,
pie, chips
and cigar.

© Malcolm Saunders (Malpoet)

25 Feb 2011 - Government experts urging Britons to eat less meat
Retired, cantankerous, libertarian and occasionally a poet, I am probably malodorous, but seek to avoid being malicious or malevolent so I vent malapert musings through malpoetry.

Malpoet blog


  1. I'll join you for the pie and chips and maybe a drop of brandy ... but cigars smell at least as bad as fags.

  2. Haha - great poem about the contradictions in modern research about health. I'm always telling people that coffee and wine are good for you and that exercise is harmful (I can point you to the exact research articles).

  3. i do prefer wine over brussel sprout omelets... what a fun poem. well done!

  4. Lovely comments. Thank you. I don't smoke actually and cigars stink, but the propaganda and the bans do make me want to do the opposite.

  5. Great stuff!
    As much as I like sprouts, I must agree, as an omelette they would be foul!


  6. Nice to see someone has his priorities right, but let me tell you, Kat notwithstanding, brussels sprouts were sent by satan to stuff up any good omelette!